I heard back from my step father….

I ended up texting him this morning with the same content from the email. He got right back to me.

My mother is doing reasonably well. My stepfather has been trying to get my son to go to Community College with no avail. My daughter is doing fantastic and a straight A student in middle school.

My stepfather has been in northern CT for work, he only goes shopping every two weeks because of his preconditions with diabetes and arthritis. He has myopathy in his feet due to the diabetes.

But for the most part everyone is doing well. He was happy to hear from me and told me to stay in contact with him.

I feel like a distant realitive who is calling to check in on the family. I can’t believe I have missed milestones with my daughters progression in middle school. My son is just hurting and taking the abuse out on himself by not going to college. I know hes afraid of the debt that comes along with going to college. Maybe in time he will change his mind.

I wish I could be there with them and somehow influence my son to try college. I wish I could hear my daughter reading and and experience her report cards. I wish I could hug my mother again.

But I have to get over the separation. It’s been two years and I have to find a way to get over the pain of not being in front of my family. Maybe it’s better this way, but I hurt. This is the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life, being separated because of mental illness.

Living alone is seemingly the most loneliest feeling. It’s not about trying to find thing to do cushion the time. It’s the fact that I don’t have any family to reflect on. I feel like I’m in solitary confinement.

Non the less I am happy that everyone is thriving, and hopefully with in time I can get a couple of pictures sent to me.

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