Rachel…

While in the van on my way to my building, Rachel text me. She said she was going to miss me, and asked if one day she could come and visit.

I don’t take anything Rachel says seriously, as I know for a fact that I’m not going to be seeing her.

She asked me the most rediclous question, if I knew who would be moving into my hotel room. I told her I had no idea, I don’t understand why she would even ask me that.

Rachel and I spent a lick of time together, to be honest I don’t know what she’s going to miss. She always had an excuse why she could venture out with me. I had taken trips to Harlem and Columbus circle just to get out of the hotel. Both times she had a problem with her leg, complaining that her leg was clicking when she walked. She also is always on verge of a cold. There is always something not right when it comes to Rachel. I really will not be missing her knocking on my door randomly just to ask me her retorical question of I had knocked on her door earlier, and she was just checking to see if I’m ok.

Since moving, she has been texting me. She said she really misses me, but is happy for me.

She is depressed because she can’t find a job, and her welfare is getting cut off, and because they are in the hotel she can’t get a van request to to reinstate her welfare case which means she would have to participate in the work force program at we care or the job center.

I told her she needs to find a course that they approve and just go from there. But she’s inanimate about going to school. She was taking a construction course, but never completed it. I don’t know what her reasoning is for that, but hopefully she will find her way out of the shelter in general.

I noticed that she personally has alot of problems that hopefully she will be able to address. I’m not saying she would benefit on trying to get ssi, because she doesn’t have a prior history with a disablity, but she has issues that she needs to rectify with a therapist.

There are just too many warning signs I see when speaking to her, and coming from someone who has mental health problems, I feel she is one conversation away from a nervous breakdown if she doesn’t get the answer she wants.

She is always on the verge of a panick attack, and worrying about who’s talking about her when she goes outside. I try to tell her to stop worrying about the other woman, no one is concerning with what she’s doing. But what I say falls in deaf ears.

The conversation is always the same between me and Rachel. I had an argument with her some weeks ago, and asked her to not to text me anymore.

She waited a few days, and then texted me regardless of how I felt about her and her conversations with me. So I pretty much just let it go and converse with her by text message.

She needs a friend, and so do I, even though she isn’t really my cup of tea. All she is concerned with is the clothes she’s lacking and trying to find a job that pays enough to afford her own room.

She has alot more on her plate then I did while being in the shelter. Not to say that SSI is the easy way out. But she has to find a job that pays more then minimum wage and at least a thousand a month. She has a citypheps voucher which garentees that 30% of her rent will be paid for. But she still has to worry about electricity and gas in some places.

Hopefully she will be able to achieve some type of employment.

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