There are alot of men who live by the shelter renting rooms or have roommates.

A guy named Dennis exchanged numbers with me when I was using the SafeLink phone. I was outside the shelter smoking a cigarette when he stopped to talk to me.

He explained that he lived in the area and would like to hang out with me, we could smoke up together. I told him I didn’t smoke weed. We exchanged numbers anyway. I don’t know why I even bothered.

He didn’t have his phone on him so I sent him a text with my name. I had a dental appointment that day, so he text me back and said he wanted me to come over. I told him I wasn’t going to his apartment. He texted me back and said he was mad at me because I didn’t want to chill. I never returned his text.

A few weeks had passed I hadn’t heard from Dennis. Then one day I crossed the street from the deli on the hill. I had bought a pack of Newports on my EBT card and was heading back to the shelter, when Dennis comes strolling from up the block. He called out to me. So I waited until he crossed the street.

We chatted for a little bit and he told me since he’s been living in the neighborhood he would hang out with some of the women from the shelter in his apartment. Then he asked me to just come over we didn’t have to do anything we could just chill.

So I reluctantly took the walk around the block to his building where his roommate had to let him from the lobby. We got buzzed in and then walked the flight of stairs to the third floor.

He let me into his apartment where he slept on the couch. It was a one bedroom apartment. His roommate was in the kitchen making what smelled like bacon.

He had a big smart TV that was connected to his neighbors wifi and he switched on the TV which was on a porn site. He asked me if I watched porn. I told him no. Then he asked me what did I do since I didn’t smoke weed, did I drink I told him no I didn’t drink either.

Then he got up and went around the back of the couch and started massaging my shoulders I brushed him off. He went and sat back down next to me on the couch. He had a thick blanket as drapes on the window and he closed the make shift drapes. I asked him what he did for a living and he told me he does music.

We sat there on the couch as he fiddled with the TV remote to try and put on a movie, and he was smoking a blunt. I smoked a cigarette.

Then he said he had a propersition for me. He liked me and wanted to know for $200 could we be together. I was just what he liked. I told him no and felt uncomfortable because he had a woody under his shorts. I don’t think he noticed that I noticed, but I got up and left the apartment.

I went back to the shelter. When Ruby got back from her program I told her what happened, and she asked me if I did anything. I told her no, plus he said he would pay me afterwords. He didn’t even have the money upfront.

Ruby said there was alot of prostitution going on in the shelter and she gave me a story of how this woman gets free weed for blow jobs with one of the hustlers across the street from the park.

Some of the woman will sell themselves for something for free or some cash.

I wasn’t looking to have a good time I just wanted to see what he wanted.

I didn’t see Dennis for a while after that until the day I got back from going to see the SSI doctors. He said the offer still stands. And asked me if I was scared. I just walked away.

When I was at Franklin I got soclitied when I was just sitting outside. Some guy came up to me and made small talk and gave me a cigarette. Then asked me if I wanted McDonald’s he had money we could sit in private and he pointed to the park.

Men tend to think that because I’m in a shelter I would be down for pay for play. Like I have no morals. It’s a stigma. Even with talking to guys on the dating apps. When they find out your in a shelter the first question is do I have a curfew. Or they know the rules and say but you can’t stay out long,as if they are going to pay for a night out on the town.

$200 is shelter pussy money. A few bucks so you can go shopping afterwards.

These experiences lead me to writing my own book loosely based on my experience with men even more so in the shelter the men I’ve spoken to. It gives me something to do writing my tails of a doomed love life. Semi autobiographical. I think I’ll take full advantage of what my laptop has to offer.

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