I live in a woman’s shelter in the Bronx called susans place. I have a story to tell and instead of writing a book I decided to blog my journey, and it’s not a pretty one.
I suffer with schitophrenia, which is how I lost my family. I used to reside in Manhattan on the upper west side of Manhattan in the 90s area near Central park. I, in due respect am a mother of two but lost my rights as mother when I kept getting hospitalized for my mental health. I have seen the inside of a psych ward 25 times in 5 years. I was on zyprexia seeking outside patient psychiatric care and I was on ssi. I had gone back to school for cosmetology and now I’m in debt. I fear for my future .
I lost custody to my children to my mother who now has full custody of my 22 year old son and my 12 year old daughter, when acs served me papers with a restraining order to vacate the premises. See I was in the throes of my disorder, and I wasn’t taking my daughter to school. The board of education called acs on me, and they did an investigation on me.
I was thrown out of the apartment with the clothes on my back. The cops served me papers. But let’s not forget there where other factors to play like domestic violence, my son attacked me.
Now this is an outline of my story, and it’s not a happily ever after fairy tail. I have what’s called schitoaffective disorder. I by law have to stay away from my family. I’m considered a danger to them.
I did alot of things I’m not proud of like identity theft. I opened up credit under my mother’s name to buy school clothes for my daughter. I was receiving just SSI at 733 a month. I opened up almost all retail credit under my name which now I’m in debt for. I was paying the minimum on the cards I was using, but I also ran up a cell phone bill in my mother’s name which she spent 2900 to pay off and disconnect the bill.
I now live in a micha shelter which is for mental health and the disabled. I’m back on medication only this time I am on haldol an injection that I have to take once a month at the psych clinic which is located with in the shelter.
When I got evicted from my mother’s apartment, I lost my SSI because acs went to court to have me evicted from the premises, I can’t even be in the building or any where near my child’s school. This all happened 2017 when my son had turned 20 and my daughter was 10 years old.
Now, after loosing everything I have gotten my SSI back because my address is now that of the shelters and I have a phone with metro pcs, a tablet, and I just recently purchased a refurbished laptop so that I can blog my story or my journey of living in a woman’s shelter and being schitophrenic.
I fear for my future because I am in debt with student loans, I have lost my friends, which now I’m on social media accounts like tagged and hi 5 to meet people and talk to people.
My best friend this far is a 59 year old ex crack head I met at the shelter named Ruby we share the same dorm. She had bipolar disorder. She’s on ssi also, and is awaiting her turn to move into an apartment or shared is what the housing specialist call it.
I fear I will never get a place to live. That I will be bounced from different shelters or something worse. I never thought that my credit score would be apart of the equation when renting. I am already approved for a 2010e which is a voucher for mental health disorders living with DHS.( Department of homeless services.) I have even looked up ways to take my own life like purchasing nembutal which they call the suicide pill. I am greatly unhappy.
This is my introduction. No names given I’m just sharing how hard it is living with schitophrenia and what I’ve lost and gained and possibly willing to try but I am unhappy. I was used to being a mother. I didn’t realize I wasn’t functioning. I even had a job at the world famous dry bar salon and I was unable to perform as a stylist. I got fired.
My son hates the air I breathe and my daughter is probably better off with my mother. But I lost my family. I’m alone in the world. It’s not like I had many friends to begin with just people I grew up with, who are far more advanced then I am, or ever was.
I decided that my blog, will be my journal, and instead of trying to publish a book I will share myself online through a blog, like things I remember with my times in a psych ward, my stint with dating social media bums. And why I no longer have Facebook or Instagram.
Thank you for reading my introduction. Follow me.